Friend #411
And for the piece de resistance of your friend Jerome’s dinner, whipped cream on a plate!!! Suddenly, you feel lactose intolerant.
ShareAnd for the piece de resistance of your friend Jerome’s dinner, whipped cream on a plate!!! Suddenly, you feel lactose intolerant.
ShareScared that one day a black ops section of the CIA will show up at his door step and arrest him for downloading a BjÖrk single illegally, your friend Bob keeps an overnight bag packed and ready to go. In order to keep everything in tip top shape, he rotates his toiletries every two months, his clothes every month and he makes sure Mr. Schnookie gets packed in “snug as a bug in rug” every morning before leaving for work.
ShareDespite the fact that your “dentist tooth cleaning scare” story could bore a sloth, your lunch time companions did a pretty good job of appearing interested. At least, they tried. Once your friend Maureen dozed off, the rest quickly decided to turn your weekly lunch and gab into more of a lunch and nap session. Perhaps next time you should add a few ninja monkeys to your story next time.
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Your friend Seymour Sealson is running for the Governor of Florida and has recruited you to be on his campaign team. Seymour plans to create up to 250,000 new jobs for the state of Florida, involving the drowning of its citizens. Free Zoo passes to everyone that votes for Seymour. And is pushing for a law to be passed that the only language to be spoken in the state of Florida will be the language of Arf!
ShareWhen your friend Becky’s dog and cat made her a cake on her 25th birthday. It was all fun and games up until you realized that the brown icing was not really made from chocolate.
ShareWhen your friend Kara went to the Zoo she decided to feed Polly the parrot a saltine cracker shot. Polly was drunk by the end of the of the night and staggered down a tree limb falling to his death.
ShareYour friend Nina is thrilled to discover that roasted grasshoppers taste better than Doritos®. You’re thrilled that you don’t have to ride home with her. Win, win!
ShareYou try not to be judgemental of others but when your friend Nate came home with this after a wild night out you think it is time to step in with an intervention.
ShareWhy did your friend Darren cross the road? Well we sure don’t know either, but he has not been seen since and we have called in a missing person’s report already. If BasilMarceaux.com were to be elected Tennessee Governor, incidents like this would never happen because you would not be allowed to cross roads to get to the other side.
ShareYou were impressed by your friend Jerome’s new watch up until the point that he yelled out “Go-Go Gadget watch!” and nothing happened.
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